Why I Want It

Other gloriously useless things you definitely need:

Unicorn Farts Cotton Candy

Pink fluffy strawberry cotton candy next to its whimsical unicorn-themed packaging bag.

Because farts in a bag are scientifically funny, you need a bag of Unicorn Farts Strawberry Cotton Candy. This gluten-free, melt-in-your-mouth treat is the ultimate way to prank your friends while satisfying your weirdly specific craving for strawberry-flavored flatulence.

$8ishWANT IT

Retro Breakfast Station

Retro Breakfast Station

This retro aqua Nostalgia 3-in-1 Breakfast Station looks like a vintage fever dream that actually works. It packs a coffee maker, non-stick griddle, and toaster oven into one compact unit, because why settle for just toast when you can have a full-scale breakfast production on one counter?

$79ishWANT IT

Bacon Candy Canes

Pack of red and white striped bacon candy canes displayed in a festive red gift box.

Bacon-flavored candy canes exist because traditional peppermint is just too sensible for your holiday festivities. These savory-sweet treats deliver a smoky, salty kick that will make your guests question your sanity while they snack. It’s the ultimate "why does this exist" gift for your most chaotic friend.

$7ishWANT IT

Edible Candy Cane Spoons

Striped candy cane spoons arranged around a white mug of hot cocoa on a wooden surface.

Why settle for boring silverware when you can literally consume your cutlery? These edible Candy Cane Spoons melt into your hot cocoa, infusing every sip with peppermint while satisfying your weird urge to eat the tools of your beverage consumption in a festive, functional, and slightly unhinged holiday hack.

$16ishWANT IT

Mini Ice Cream Sandwich Maker

Clear plastic ice cream sandwich maker molds featuring pink, white, and green swirl attachments.

Finally, a way to satisfy your inexplicable urge to create miniature desserts without actually having to be a pastry chef. The Cuisipro Mini Ice Cream Sandwich Maker lets you scoop and press ice cream into heart, star, and circle shapes, because regular-sized sandwiches are just too much responsibility.

$19ishWANT IT

Krispy Kreme Jelly Beans

Green and white box filled with assorted jelly beans, some shaped like doughnuts.

Finally, you can experience the dopamine hit of a Krispy Kreme doughnut without the actual, terrifying commitment of eating a giant pastry. These Jelly Belly beans pack five bakery-inspired flavors into a tiny, melt-in-your-mouth snack that is weirdly satisfying and perfect for your carb-obsessed bestie.

$7ishWANT IT

Vertical Bacon Grill

Black vertical bacon grill with strips of bacon cooking inside on a modern kitchen counter.

Imagine your bacon standing perfectly upright like tiny, crispy soldiers in a vertical cooking machine. The Nostalgia Bacon Express drains away the grease into a slide-out tray while an illuminated dial tracks your path to crispy perfection, making breakfast feel weirdly sophisticated and oddly necessary.

$160ishWANT IT

One-Bowl Bread Maker

Sleek dark brown one-bowl bread maker appliance sitting on a white kitchen countertop.

The Lekue Silicone Bread Maker is the ultimate cheat code for anyone who wants to smell like a French bakery but lacks the patience for real labor. This one-bowl wonder handles mixing, kneading, and baking in a single container, delivering a crusty loaf that’s almost too easy to be legal.

$28ishWANT IT

Whiskey Sphere Ice Molds

Clear sphere ice mold next to a glass of amber whiskey featuring a large, perfectly formed ice ball.

You can now own a dedicated mold that produces massive ice spheres specifically designed to keep your whiskey from melting into a watery disappointment. These Tovolo Sphere Ice Molds are stackable, leak-proof, and perfect for anyone who wants their home bar to feel slightly more pretentious and much cooler.

$9ishWANT IT

Creepy Window Peeper

Creepy pale peeping tom figure wearing a black hood, positioned against a window.

Give your neighbors a reason to call for help with this Peeping Tom. It’s the ultimate way to ensure no one feels safe in their own home this Halloween, featuring a ghoulish face and a heavy-duty suction cup for maximum, unblinking creepiness.

$42ishWANT IT

DIY Gummy Sushi Kit

Brightly illustrated cardboard box containing a kit to make colorful gummy sushi.

Imagine hosting a dinner party where the only thing on the menu is edible, gelatinous deception. The Kracie Popin' Cookin' Sushi Making Kit lets you craft gummy sushi that looks real enough to confuse your guests into thinking you’ve actually mastered the culinary arts.

$9ishWANT IT

Oil-Free Air Fryer

Black digital air fryer appliance with a sleek, modern design sitting on a light kitchen countertop.

When your late-night cravings demand crispy fries but your heart demands a vegetable-adjacent lifestyle, the Philips Digital Airfryer is your new best friend. It uses a patented starfish design to circulate superheated air, delivering 75% less fat while keeping your food perfectly crispy and your kitchen remarkably grease-free.

$99ishWANT IT